Born this way

Effeminate mannerisms not well-received causes difficulties with family members and identity issues.

THERE is a constant voice in Kelvin Lim's head 
reminding him at times to sit up straight, not sway
his hips when he walks, control the pitch of his voice,
not squeal in delight or surprise. In short, to act like 
how a boy is supposed to.


He is conscious of his every gesture and movement, 
and is trying hard to contain any that might appear effeminate.

Kelvin wants to be a "normal" guy, and he is consumed 
with trying to be the son his parents want him to be. The 20-year-old student readily admits to being effeminate, or lelaki lembut, but he says he is "not as soft as before."


"I don't want my parents to disown me. It would be 
terrible to have two parents and both of them not wanting me. I don't want them to stop calling me their son.


"My brother warns me that if I continue to be effeminate,
or turn out to be a homosexual, it would break our father's heart," says Kelvin who first realised he was an embarrassment to his parents when a drunk uncle berated him for being effeminate at a family dinner when he was 14.


After many years of practice, Kelvin seems almost able
to pull off the masculine act. But we knew Kelvin when 
he was a giddy, high-spirited 16-year-old cheerleader who was slightly effeminate. He admits that sometimes it is a strain to keep up appearances.

» Outrage over boot camp for effeminate schoolboys

» Finding one's identity

Kelvin has always been on the softer side. When he was younger, he used to wear his sister's clothes, play with her Barbie dolls, put on his mother's make-up and felt good doing them all.


"It didn't feel like it was wrong for me to do all that. Not at all," says Kelvin.


"The boys at school used to tease me for hanging out and gossiping with the girls, whom I felt more comfortable with. They also made fun of my 'limp wrist' or how I walked or squealed in delight when I got excited," shares Kelvin.


His parents keep insisting that he should play other sports like football or basketball instead of being a cheerleader, and that he should be more "manly". 

They also warn him that his effeminate tendencies 
will be frowned upon by society.

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Facebook’s New Deals Product Coming to 5 Cities Tomorrow

Facebook is finally launching local Deals — a feature that will compete with Groupon‘s core product, not Foursquare’s — in five cities starting Tuesday.

The five communities in question are San Francisco, Austin, Dallas, Atlanta and San Diego. Facebook revealed to The New York Timesthat the local offers made to Deals users will be delivered via email and will also appear in users’ news feeds.

Any Facebook user can sign up for Deals notifications on the feature’s landing page now; users in the five test cities will be able to see and use Deals within a few hours of the writing of this post.

UPDATE: We’ve now got screenshots of the all-new Deals.

Facebook’s first local deals product was announced as part of Facebook’s overarching locations feature,Places. Mobile check-ins were linked to deals; in this way, Deals served as an incentive for Facebook users to integrate Facebook Places in their daily lives — and they were also an incentive for marketers and major brands to put more money into the Facebook platform. Facebook even briefly launched a page to let web users find these checkin-focused deals on the web.

However, the new Deals will be less like a Foursquare coupon awarded to the user after a checkin and more like a Groupon voucher, which means the user will buy a certificate for a certain good or service at a steep discount, typically half off its retail price, then redeem it later.

Examples of the new breed of Facebook Deals from brands include “unlimited bowling with six friends for an evening for $60 (75% off)” and “luxury winery tour and 25% off all wine purchases for $50.”

Perhaps most importantly, users will be able to buy Deals using Facebook Credits, paving a smooth path between a virtual currency and real-world goods and services. We suspected Facebook had plans to bring Credits to the real world since around the time of f8, the company’s developer conference, when Facebook announced its ambitious Open Graph.

Users will also be able to buy Deals with major credit cards.

Stay tuned for more information, specific deals and screenshots in a few hours.

Image based on a photo from Flickr user nathangibbs.

Beware Of ‘You Have Won A Free Gift’

KUALA LUMPUR – Do you remember the ‘scratch-and-win’ ploy used by unscrupulous businesses to hoodwink members of the public to buy certain products they do not really need?

The same ploy has since ‘resurfaced’, but this time it uses short messaging service (sms).

Recently when on his way to work, a medical practitioner who wished to be known as Dr Krishnan, received an sms reading “Congratulations, you have won a free gift. To redeem please sms this number…..”.

'Everyone sat there and watched me get hurt': Victim of McDonald's beating speaks out as fast-food giant goes into damage control Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1379691/Transgender-girl-beaten-seizure-McDonalds-attack-victim-hate-crime.html#ixzz1KQKcDzoa

I'm afraid to go outside: Transgender woman Chrissy Lee Polis was the victim of a beating filmed in McDonald's

The victim of a sustained attack in a Baltimore County McDonald's has spoken for the first time about the beating she received, and how nobody came to her aid.

Chrissy Lee Polis, a 22-year-old transgender woman, said she was afraid to go outside after the attack, and hinted that it might have been racially motivated - as both of her attackers were black.

She said: 'They just hurt me really bad, and I'm afraid to go outside now because of stuff like this.'

She said the violence kicked off after she had used the ladies restrooms in the McDonald's outlet, but denied reports that this was the reason why the violence erupted.

She said of her attackers: 'They just seemed like they wanted to pick a fight that night.'

She said she was approached by one of the girls, who accused her of 'looking at my man'.

When Miss Polis insisted that she was not even aware of the girl's partner, the physical abuse began with the girl spitting in her face.

She said: 'She started ripping my hair, throwing me on the floor, kicking me in my face.

'I got up and tried to hit the girl. I had her in a corner, to try to get her off me, and the other girl came up and started kicking me in my face, punching me in my nose, rippping my earring out of my earlobes.'

Miss Polis said there was no way to escape the attack, adding: ' Every time I tried to walk away they followed me.'

And, in what will cause major embarrassment to McDonald's and its 'family restaurant' image, Miss Polis said staff not only allowed the abuse to continue, one employee - identified as Vernon Hackett from images and comment he put online - filmed the incident.

The footage, which was put online, has attracted hundreds of thousands of viewers.

Scroll down for video footage

Shocking: girl is brutally beaten until she has a seizure

Brutal: The girl suffers blow after blow while staff duck out of the way, right

Miss Polis said: 'Everybody in that McDonald's sat there and watched me get hurt. Nobody did nothing at all.

'And then they tried to tell [the girls] to leave because the cops were coming, so they could protect them and not me.

'I remember the guy working at McDonald's was taping me on his cell phone, and I told him to get it out of my f***ing face. And he sat there, and he must have taped me even further.'

The fast-food chain has issued a statement about the safety of its customers being paramount, and Rosedale franchise owner Mitchell McPherson yesterday announced that employee Vernon Hackett had been fired.

Mr McPherson said: 'My first and foremost concern is with the victim. I'm as shocked and disturbed by this assault as anyone would be. The behaviour displayed in the video is unfathomable and reprehensible.'

Mr McPherson added that action might also be taken against other restaurant workers.

Seizure: The girl shakes on the floor uncontrollably after the attack

The shocking footage, where the 22-year-old Miss Polis is brutally beaten to the point of having a seizure, happened on April 18.

The LGBT group is now calling on police to investigate the attack as a hate crime. 

During the brutal attack, which lasted for several minutes, Miss Polis was repeatedly kicked in the head and stamped on by two black girls in the fast food store.

Staff stood by and even laughed as the attackers grabbed the victim's hair and dragged her across the floor.

After shocking footage of the assault spread across the internet, with one site alone receiving 450,000 views by mid-afternoon, police said a 14-year-old girl had been charged as a juvenile, while charges were pending against an 18-year-old woman. 

Scene: The McDonald's in Rosedale where the shocking attack took place

While the incident remains under investigation, local police told the Baltimore Sun they were looking into whether or not there was racist motivation.

State's Attorney Scott D. Shellenberger said hate crime charges were being considered.

'If there is evidence that the crime was racially motivated, we will take a look at those charges and see if we meet those elements. We have the ability, if the facts are there, to upgrade the charges at a later date,' Shellenberger said.

Police said Miss Polis had suffered cuts to her mouth and face but was in 'fair' condition.

Fired: Vernon Hackett, the employee who shot the footage, has been sacked from his job at the McDonald's outlet

The horrifying video of the attack shows the black girls repeatedly punching, kicking and stamping on Miss Polis  before briefly leaving the store. 

She manages to get up briefly before they return, again punching and kicking her to the floor.

At one point they try to drag Miss Polis outside to the parking lot - and it takes the intervention of an old woman eating in the store to stop them.

After threatening to hit the older woman as well, the girls continue heavily pounding the victim, until, bleeding, she starts to have a seizure by the front door of the restaurant.

The attackers are warned by an employee to flee before authorities are finally called as onlookers realise that 'she needs help right now'.

Miss Polis said: I do want to find that... lady who helped me. I do want to thank her in person, face to face. If it wasn't for her I propably would have had the seizure, and they would have continued to hurt me.'

Hackett raised the ire of his employers after claiming credit for filming the video on his Facebook account, which he has since taken down.

At one point he can be heard laughing hysterically at the violence in front of him.

McDonald's have slammed the incident as 'unacceptable, disturbing and troubling'.

The video emerged on Friday on music website worldstarhiphop.com and has sparked fierce debate about the inaction of the McDonald's staff.

One visitor to the site last night commented: 'Where the heck were the employees? This is crazy and sad.'

Another added: 'Worst management ever.'

On another site, a viewer wrote: The female 'animals' need to be apprehended, and charged with attempted murder... the victim needs to sue McDonald's for everything they are worth.'

Others, however, argue that it would have been dangerous for the employees to have intervened.

Warning: Video contains graphic images and profanity