I am Roti first, Jala next - what about you?

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It's quite one thing to be plucked from under the shell of obscurity and an iffy reputation as a "turnaround specialist" and be parachuted into Mana Ada Sistem (MAS) Airlines as CEO with a $1 million a year remuneration package, excluding bonus and share option. Though, we never were told what exactly he turned around in Shell, were we?

Then again, it's quite another to be suddenly and ignominiously VSS'd from MAS and be appointed Senator, Minister Without Portfolio and be hastily positioned behind the steering wheel of Performance & Gundu Delivery Unit (PEGUNDU) of the Prime Minister's (Rosemajib's) Department, as CEO with a $1 million a year remuneration package, excluding bonus and share option.

Poisoned chalice

Quite courageous actually, of Roti Jala, to accept Rosemajib's poisoned chalice to effect $1 Trillion ETP, EPP, GTP, NKEA/NKRA economic programs, when by his own (Roti Jala's) estimate, the Federal and State Treasuries were all broke from financing dodgy projects like National Education, Health, Welfare, Transport and Defence.

Of course the $500 Billion expended on submarines that don't sink, jet fighter planes that don't fly, $250 million cows and big tits being milked in $10 million Bangsar and Orchard Road condos, $9 billion and 600-year toll highway concessions and the like had absolutely no effect on our sinking piggy bank.

But then, in the parlance of 'Yes, Prime Minister' and its semantics, "courageous" equates with "congenitally stupid".

Now why was Roti Jala, a Christian Orang Ulu Kelabit Sarawakian Asian Bumiputra Malaysian cashiered out of MAS with indecent haste the minute Rosemajib was appointed the 6th Prime Minister of 1 APCO (Not Israel) Asian Malaysia?

There is no rumour to the truth that Rosemajib's predecessor, the reportedly affable but clueless (yet cunning when it came to personal finances) sleeping PM, Rip Van Winkle, was not told that the Christian Orang Ulu Kelabit Sarawakian Asian Bumiputra Malaysian Roti Jala was actually, NOT a Muslim, and ergo, not a Malay by our towering glocally drafted Constitution!

This had been grating on BUMNO's sore ass like a wedgie itch that cannot be reached. So Hang Tuah's Keris (it's only a myth, not real - refer Emeritus Professor Hang KKK) came out as soon as Mopeydopeymuhymaidin and that rAPidfire Iron Lady of Black Exhausts backstabbed Rip Van Winkle into premature political oblivion.

The difference between the two

And therein we can see the different management styles of Rosemajib and Rip Van Winkle.

RVW belonged to the Marah (Angry) University Seagull School of Management, where the Chiefs would fly in from some place like Woolaboogahloogah, Perth in Australia even though they lived in Kuala Lumpur, go round in circles, flap and make a lot of noise, crap on everything, and then exhausted by having achieved nothing, leave for Hawaii or Tahiti to recuperate.

Rosemajib, however is a Salad Dodger, an overweight mama's boy. He had graduated from the Havoxbridgecon University of Testiculating Management, i.e. where the Chiefs would wave their arms about like whirling helocopter blades and talk Economy Transformers bollocks.

Often, they would engage in the earnest and sapping art of Blamestorming - sit around in groups like PEGUNDU and exhaust themselves by achieving nothing, after discussing why deadlines were missed, why they had to U-turn and who they should blame it all on, knowing all along they never had the money to start the project but had paid the 10% commission to their rent seeking warlord Ali Baba and an advance of $4 billion to their crony fraudtrepreneur who had just left for Jeddah on permanent leave after the Auditor General's Annual Report had been published.

It was of course Brutus Mopeydopeymuhymaidin who initially wedged his Jackboot in Rosemajib's ample behind and up where the sun don't shine by declaring "I'm first a Malay (and in glocal context that means Muslim) and Malaysian, last."

Rosemajib could not have been more shocked, deeply hurt or badly sabotaged/ double crossed had Mopeydopeymuhymaidin actually launched a scorpenis torpedo up where the cracks stuck together like two chapatti pieces super bonded by dhal curry and QBB Ghee. Anal retentive and tight ass? Hmm!

'Et u, Brute' and 'The first cut is the deepest" all are very relevant here.

Rosemajib had just written a RM100 million cheque to APCO Spindoctors Inc and had Anwar Ibrahim suspended from Parliament for claiming he had plagiarised (too true) the 1 Malaysia byline from, perish the thought, 1 Israel!!

1 Malaysia was in tatters, ripped apart by Rosemajib's deputy forced upon him by Maha Darthvader Firaun.

Gas, all gas...

Which bring us to Roti Jala's stinky stealth fart. This easily confirms:

1. It was a pre-condition of Roti Jala's contract with PEGUNDU that he attend a BTN brainwashing course.

2. This is a cunning move to align himself with Mopeydopeymuhymaidin and his camp given that the RAHMAN prophecy will see Rosemajib shortly moving off to a retirement home in Jaffa, 1 Israel.

So, let's keep it short, shall we Roti Jala, or is it Jala Roti?

The next time you apply for a visa to deliver the next $50 million pay cheque to con-sultans McKinzhir, How Low Can You Get Jho and Make Hay While the Sun Shines, lets's see you get past immigration in USA, UK, France and Germany with a travel document that says :

1. Passport issued by Christian Orang Ulu Kelabit Sarawakian Asian Bumiputra, or

2. Passport issued by Muslim Malay Bumiputra Asia, or

3. Passport issued by 1 PEGUNDU.

Who are you kidding, you cretin?

You can't get exit out of the country past MALAYSIAN IMMIGRATION without a valid "PASSPORT MALAYSIA' can you?

Yet, you are confused over your nationality and who you are first?

Now stand to attention (and zip up your short pants), place your right hand over your heart, puff your chest out, look straight ahead and read slowly and loudly:

"As long as I am a citizen of this country, I am first, middle and last, MALAYSIAN.

Everything else is irrelevant and a private matter between me, my family, my friends and my God, if one truly believes in1 Malaysia.

And that's not negotiable."

Got it?

Now, repeat it 28 million times!

Donplaypuks® with your nationality and who you are first, middle and last, fool!

with special thanks to English Cottage at http://theenglishcottage.blogspot.com/ for 'Seagull Management", "Salad Dodger" and "Testiculating".

If you want to read more, click into http://donplaypuks.blogspot.com/