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Friday, August 10, 2012

AdilanClub: Sex Talk: Why your wife could cheat

Sulaiman Kamal | 2:19 AM | | Best Blogger Tips

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Okay, there are clearly women – just like men – with a bigger problem.

They don’t need much excuse to go fishing for sex outside the confines of their marriage; they are just battling bigger demons.

Then there are those – again just like some men – who have been pushed into the eager arms of a dangerous substitute simply because their spouses don’t know how to attend to the

And suffice it to say, a cheating wife is more lethal than a cheating husband. I don’t know; not so many wives cheat in their marriages, but the ones that do, approach the vice with near ‘professionalism’ that the best male cheat would be left eating her dust.

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But just so you know, what kind of behaviour could cause your wife to start a chain of sexual generosity? This is not to condone the practice, of course, but just to hopefully invoke some self analysis on your part, gentlemen. These were compiled from various conversations with my married friends – all of them hopefully faithful, at least as far as I know!

Mr Love-cheat

A man who cheats is begging his wife to do the same. Whenever a man cheats and his wife finds out, she feels so worthless and ugly, and all she wants is to be loved – by any man – for self esteem reasons.

And if he is foolish enough to suspend making love to her so he can fully enjoy the side dish, his wife will feel more dejected and what starts as a mini friendly match to calm her nerves could soon turn into a string of championship leagues outside the marriage.

Mr Mean

Guys who cling to money like their livelihoods depend on it, also push their wives into the generous guys’ arms. Women were built to receive; even during the sexual act the male has more to deliver than the female.

If you never spend on your wife just because she earns her own dime, she probably thinks you don’t love her enough. She doesn’t want your money per se; just the gesture that you can let her enjoy an apple she didn’t buy herself, earns you points on her metre! Strange, but true. Any woman honest with herself will attest to this.

Mr Stiff

This one never jokes and has no light side to him. Yes, he provides for his family, but that is about it. Even when it comes to sex, he does it like a duty as opposed to intimate lovemaking.

He is too programmed that he rarely engages in foreplay – what for; hasn’t he just bought her a new car? No compliments, no ‘I love you’ from him. She seems to have it all, but yearns for that feeling of being loved and appreciated.

Yet she is in an office where men fall over themselves with compliments and infatuation for her. Such temptation... He will not notice his wife’s new hairstyle, he does not have time for ‘silly’ reassurances and even when wifey tries to lure him into her romantic world, his mind and talk is always on cement prices, the dollar and what could be happening in Juba.

And because many women (Ugandan women, especially) are strangely not programmed to beg for sex, such a man’s wife may end up crying on another pair of strong shoulders. And the whole world will castigate: “What more could she probably have been looking for!?” Hmm…

Mr Perfect

You know this kind. The ones that don’t seek any counsel because they believe it is their wife that is to blame for every problem in marriage. When the sex sucks:

“My wife did not listen to her Ssenga properly!” When the business sinks: “My wife is not developmental!” When the children mess up: “You know children take after their mothers’ genes!” When the children delay to arrive: “Of course my wife is the infertile one.”

This husband eventually turns into heavy baggage and his wife may decide to put him in a corner somewhere and find a ‘normal’ guy to enjoy life with. The wife stuck with such a dude probably cheats just to rule out fears that she is this irredeemable.

Mr Know-it-all

This one never listens to his wife. He never takes advice from her and does not find it necessary to even hold a conversation with her. She is simply his sex object and “incubator”.

He puts her down most of the time, and does whatever he wants with her regardless her feelings on the matter. It takes one man giving her the craved attention for this wife to do something silly.

I tend to believe women are more loyal in relationships than men, but even the most loyal wife when boxed into an uncomfortable corner, could unleash an unpleasant surprise. Imagine, some women’s husbands are all of the above things. Prayer!
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