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Monday, January 16, 2012

Girl had sex with teacher, her father asks why he was not told

Sulaiman Kamal | 5:39 AM | | | | | Best Blogger Tips

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FOR about 18 months, a married teacher manipulated and exploited his student into having a sexual relationship with him.

He was 38 and the girl only 14 when they first had sex in late 2007.

The following July, the school, suspecting something was amiss, warned the teacher over his improper conduct.


But that didn't deter him, and he continued having sex with his student until 2009.


He even threatened to kill himself when she wanted to break up with him.


The teacher yesterday pleaded guilty to five counts of carnal connection with a minor. Fourteen other similar charges were taken into consideration.


The father of two, who admitted that having sex with his victim made him "feel more of a man", is scheduled to be sentenced on Jan 17.


He cannot be identified to protect the girl, who is now 18 and studying in a junior college. Although four years have passed since her CCA teacher first violated her, the girl is still haunted by the mental scars and needs constant counselling by psychologists.


Her mother also needs counselling. She had a breakdown on finding out what happened to the girl. Her father, while trying to heal his family, is also upset.



Not informed


Although the school, located in the north, had felt that it was important enough to give the teacher a warning, the girl's parents were never informed. Why weren't we told, the father asked.


Speaking to The New Paper yesterday, he said: "We confronted the school after the police investigation and asked the vice-principal for an explanation on why we weren't informed.


"The school's only answer was that it had no evidence, and that was why the teacher got only a warning."


The school was alerted to improper conduct by the teacher during a trip to the United States.


Court papers revealed that the principal had called in the teacher and the girl, but both denied that anything improper was going on.


The teacher claimed that he was like a father to her.


Despite the warning, he continued to have sex with her at least another 10 times either in the school or at the carpark of Upper Seletar Reservoir Park.


He did not use a condom for most of the sexual encounters.


When TNP contacted the school yesterday, the administrative manager said he could not comment.


A vice-principal of another secondary school in the north said that unless there was evidence against a teacher, the school usually would not inform the parents. However, the teacher will be warned.


She added: "The primary concern is the safety of the child. If we can ascertain that the child is in danger, we will immediately remove the source of danger, in this case the teacher, with no warning.


"If we cannot verify if the child is in danger, there is nothing we can do. "But we will warn the teacher and prevent him from contact with the student, whether in class or in CCA."


She said that schools usually do not inform the parents because it serves no purpose except to alarm the family.


But Mr Stephen Wee, 52, who has a 14-year-old daughter, said he would want to know if the school suspected that his child was in an illicit relationship with a teacher, regardless of whether there was evidence.


The quality manager explained: "I want to know so that I can talk to her and warn her about potential problems."



The teacher's dirty deeds were finally exposed by his wife. He had a child when he started the relationship with the student.


His wife had just given birth to their second child when she discovered suggestive messages from the girl and a former student in January last year.


He was also having sex with his former student.


When his wife confronted him, he denied having an improper relationship with the girls.


He said he was merely giving the girls "private tuition" and promised to stop.


And when the wife confronted the student, she also denied it.


On April 19 last year, his wife went to the girl's home and spoke to her mother.


The teacher then called the girl an estimated 49 times from April 21 to April 23.


He also sent her multiple SMSes during these three days asking to meet her.


He threatened to kill himself and to tell her friends and family about their relationship. Desperate, the girl changed her mobile phone number.


The girl's father made a police report at a police post on April 23, and the teacher was arrested soon after.


Investigations revealed that the girl felt "uncomfortable about having to have daily sex with the accused".


On Aug 11 last year, she told a counsellor that when she refused him, he would either ignore her and force himself on her, or he would become moody and drive dangerously. The girl told the counsellor that she suffered from recurrent nightmares.


She also felt trapped and traumatised by his threats to commit suicide and to reveal their sexual relationship to her friends.


Her father said: "My wife is unstable and my daughter continues to have nightmares. I want to make sure he never hurts other children.


"My family has suffered for four years now. Nothing I do can bring things back to what they were but I'm not going to allow him to hurt other children."



He preyed on her youth & vulnerability


HE'S awaiting sentencing for five charges of having sex with a girl under the age of 16.


Fourteen other charges - one charge of attempted carnal connection, two charges of carnal connection, and another 11 charges of having sex with a minor - are being taken into consideration.


The sordid relationship started in late 2007 after the accused lavished the girl with attention and gifts.


She was only 14 when her CCA teacher-in-charge, then 38, told her that she was pretty and that he wanted her to be his girlfriend.


After courting her successfully, he started giving her free tuition, spending time alone with her.


Then, he started hugging, kissing and engaging in heavy petting with the girl.


Deputy Public Prosecutor Kavita Uthrapathy told the court yesterday: "In short, the accused told a 14-year-old girl everything she wanted to hear that would make her feel special, and preyed on her youth and vulnerability and took away her innocence merely to satisfy his lustful desires."


Dr Carol Balhetchet, director of youth services at Singapore Children's Society, told The New Paper that during courtship, the man would make the girl feel special.


She added: "When that person makes you feel attractive, it is quite addictive and enhances whatever emotions already present. It starts with getting emotionally secure and comfortable, then physical security.


"For the girl... she's hoping that she's entering into something meaningful with the guy. She would look to him as her hero, as someone supporting and guiding her.


"Human beings play games when it comes to courtship."



Manipulated her


The teacher manipulated the girl's feelings for him, and tried to have sex with her sometime during November or December 2007.


Each time they met, he would try to have sex with her, stopping when she complained of pain.


After several tries, he succeeded in taking her virginity, and the pair had sex multiple times in the CCA room. The teacher would lock the door and latch it from the inside.


He did not use a condom for most of the sexual encounters as he "did not like the sensation".


He also had sex with her in his car and in a room at the Orchid Country Club to celebrate her birthday.


They stopped having sex in 2009 and the girl started to avoid him.


But he wouldn't leave her alone.


Between April 21 and April 23 last year, he sent her seven SMSes and made about 49 calls to her after his wife went to the girl's home and told her mother.


He waited for her outside her junior college, but left when he saw that her father was picking her up.


In his SMSes, he threatened to kill himself and to reveal their sexual relationship to her friends and family.


He even contacted her friend, posing as her boyfriend, to ask the friend to get her to return his calls.


The man, who had been seeing a psychiatrist for depression, even kept his affairs from his doctor.


He stopped seeing the psychiatrist from Dec 26, 2008 to April 29 last year, when police investigations began.


In July 2008, when there was a complaint made to the school about improper behaviour between the teacher and the girl, the man denied having a relationship with her.


Instead, he told senior school management that he was like a father to the girl.


The man also deceived the girl by not telling her about his wife's second pregnancy and the fact that he was having sex with another student.


Instead, he told her that he was having sex with only her.


It was only when he was caught and faced with evidence against him that the man finally admitted to his affair with the girl.






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