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Monday, April 2, 2012

I only ever sleep with married men

Sulaiman Kamal | 2:40 AM | | Best Blogger Tips

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Cheat is on ... Dee Jones meets her married men on the website Illicit Encounters

SELECTING a slinky dress for her night out, Dee Jones doesn't care if her date is rich, handsome or charming – as long as he's married.

For the past three months, the 33-year-old accountant has been dating attached men — and has no plans to change her ways.

Feeling no guilt, she is unrepentant when it comes to her playgirl lifestyle filled with gifts, lavish meals and no-strings sex.

Here Dee, from Harrow, North London, reveals why she thinks the wives of the married men she dates should be THANKING her rather than feeling angry with her.

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Dee says: "There is nothing wrong with what I do. The way I see it, I'm helping the women because the men go home happier. I provide an emotional outlet for men bored by their wives."

In fact, she jokingly refers to herself as "an alternative marriage counsellor".

She continues: "As well as satisfying them, I also give the men advice on their failing personal lives. I love the excitement of doing something I shouldn't.

"And, what's even better is I can hand them back to their wives when I'm done."

A "feisty" woman who has never had a problem getting a date, Dee first went out with a taken man about four years ago.

She recalls: "I enjoyed my time with him and, although it came to an end, it didn't put me off.

"I loved the fact I could be with him when it suited me and I didn't have to be exclusively with him."

Finding herself single again in January after a long-term relationship, Dee decided she was going to hunt down more married men to get some excitement back in her life.

She says: "I just wanted some fun — so I typed 'meet a married man' into an internet search engine."

Within minutes, Dee had created an online profile on the website Illicit Encounters and was receiving loads of requests for dates.

She says: "It is so flattering and exciting. I love knowing that all these men want is to take me out and ravish me."

With no baggage, no strings and no emotional involvement, Dee could have her cake and eat it — at the expense of somebody else.

Shockingly, these types of websites actually facilitate affairs for people who are unhappy in their sex-less relationships but have no intention of leaving their partner.

Career girl Dee is currently seeing three married men "on rotation".

She explains: "Once a fortnight, the men will take me out to posh restaurants or for drinks in swanky bars — I even cook dinner for one of them at my house."

Amazingly, Dee doesn't feel any guilt.

She says: "They are the ones cheating, not me. I have spent all of my adult life in relationships where I have to think about the other person. I deserve time when I only have to think of myself — I am too independent to be in a relationship at the moment."

Naturally, most people who use the site do so in secret. She says: "I find it safer to keep phone contact to a minimum. I don't want anyone's wife to find out.

"I wait for them to contact me — then I know it is safe to reply."

Dee feels this type of dating is particularly good because she gets treated like a princess.

She says: "I get taken to top restaurants and many of the men buy me elaborate gifts — one guy bought me a TV and DVD player. But most importantly, I get showered with affection.

"Ultimately, after a few dates, the evening out will result in sex. If a guy calls and I'm not in the mood, I say so. If, by the end of the date, I want to invite them in, that's my prerogative. I'm totally in control and I love that."

Dee isn't physical with all of them — some men she "helps" just want to talk to her. In fact, she has stayed in steady contact with one man since November but knows she will never meet him.

"We are having an email affair, if there is such a thing," she explains.

"He and I both know that we will never meet due to distance but this suits us both — we flirt and chat online.

"There is obviously something missing in his life that I fill. I am happy to oblige — he is very sweet to me."

Although the majority of her dating experiences have been good, there have been some disastrous ones too.

She says: "It's always a nightmare when they fall in love with you. One guy declared that I belonged to him after only two dates.

"He told me that I wasn't allowed to date or flirt with any other men — hypocritical as he had a wife at home. I ended that quickly."

Dee admits she likes Illicit Encounters because of the upwardly mobile men that the site claims to attract. She says: "On the whole, all of the users are in well-paid jobs.

"The calibre of males I am meeting is certainly what makes me go back for more. They are all well-groomed and sophisticated. Who wouldn't want to be showered with gifts and shown a luxurious lifestyle?"

Asked if she ever gets attached to the men she sleeps with, the answer is a firm no. "I just switch off. I make my intentions clear from the start and once the guidelines are set, there's no going back."

Dee makes extramarital affairs look easy, but they do come with risks.

She says: "All of these men have children and some have been caught out, "It may sound stupid, but I actually think most of the wives involved just turn a blind eye to their husband's infidelity. They have a lifestyle they want to protect.

"Many have the car, the home, the children, the holidays. If they finished the relationship, they would risk losing all that.

"There is nothing more exciting than knowing I'll get to flirt over a candlelit dinner or secretly hold hands in the cinema.

"I know most people think this is all about sex, but it isn't. Despite what people assume, there is an emotional connection and we do think of each other. I wouldn't sleep with just anyone.

"Since I initially logged on, I have only been on dates with around 12 men in total — I am still fussy.

"In a nutshell, I am a bubbly and outgoing woman who loves attention but doesn't want a relationship — this type of lifestyle is tailor-made for me!"

But this isn't a life that Dee will continue with forever.

She says: "I'll stay on the site for a year or so then make a decision about what I want from there. I'm going travelling at Christmas, so it suits me to have another six months of no-strings fun."

Dee describes her last three months as "feeling like a kid in a sweet shop".

She explains: "I'm addicted to the thrill of it. I've found that some of the men are separated but not divorced yet. I'm not interested in them, it's not exciting enough. I go for the ones who are still married."

Asked how she would feel if her future husband cheated on her, she chuckles: "Of course I'd be upset, but there's no way I'll ever conform — that's just the way I am."

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