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Friday, May 18, 2012

AdilanClub: Actress finds S'pore men shallow and arrogant

Sulaiman Kamal | 12:29 AM | | | Best Blogger Tips

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Channel 8's most popular, attractive and eligible female celebs like Jeanette Aw and Joanne Peh are already off the market and in stable long-term relationships with foreign men.

And even though local actress Felicia Chin hasn't followed suit - yet - she has taken to the April issue of Chinese women's magazine Nuyou to boldly critique local guys.

In the column Chatroom, the 27-year-old former MediaCorp artiste wrote: "There are no good men left in Singapore. Is that true? The girls around me all have this 'complaint' these days...

>Link Info : General Issues - Lifestyle

"Singapore men lack quality. Maybe they've been too well-taken care of, it's as if they lack something. It's hard to find mature and steady men of the olden days like my father."

Chin, who has one more year of studies before she gets her business degree from the National University of Singapore then asked if there are any readers who object to what she wrote.

The New Paper met her last Thursday at the lensing ceremony for her new Channel 8 drama Don't Stop Believin', in which she plays a passionate teacher in a secondary school with the worst academic results.

The drama also stars Elvin Ng, Ian Fang, Edwin Goh and Kimberly Chia.

Chin said that she feels the local men she has met so far are generally as she described, and only a minority of her male friends are otherwise.

Though her comments are based mostly on what she heard from her female friends, some are her own observations.

She continued: "I think it's got something to do with our education system.

"We learn a lot by heart and focus too much on our studies. We spend little time honing other skills and on our inner self.

"Some of these men in their 20s are successful, but the focus is on wealth and what they have on the outside."

Chin claims she has had "very few" relationships in the past and that she's content being single now. All her ex-boyfriends are Singaporeans.

She prefers mature men who have "seen it all".

Age is not a priority or prerequisite, and she's okay with dating someone in his 40s or 50s as they may not look their age.

She's also open to dating foreigners.

"What's important is how we communicate and if we share the same frequency," Chin said.

"Daughters unconsciously compare men to their fathers. I like traditional men who can give good advice and whom you can depend on."

Chin admitted she had her reservations before she e-mailed her thoughts to Nuyou.

Chatroom is a column where a monthly guest engages in an out-of-the-box chat with Nuyou's deputy editor, Mr Ng Ho Ton.

Each develops something the other person has said into a new topic.


She said: "Would people be offended? Whether they agree or disagree, their reactions could be larger than what I expected.

"But Singapore is a liberal society and I'm not making a personal attack... Nuyou is an intimate magazine and if I don't share what I really feel, it defeats the purpose (of the column)."

Chin said she doesn't expect people to agree with her and also admits she may not be seeing the full picture.

Her intention is to make the column a good read and to get readers to think about it.

She welcomes feedback from them, although, to her knowledge, she has received none so far.

In a subsequent interview with Lianhe Wanbao last month after the Nuyou column appeared, Chin's words were bolder.

"(Local men) are a bit arrogant and think too highly of themselves. Everything must be fast. While they are following what's fashionable, they become more lacking in substance," she told the Chinese daily.

These men are also fond of gossip and complaining, and grumble immediately when they feel aggrieved.

Chin, who has friends from China, Vietnam and the US, feels it's because young local men have grown up in a comfortable environment and have not gone through hardships.

She cites the example of her Vietnamese friends in university who come here alone to study.

"They have a sense of urgency and seem more independent. They have to be, having come so far just to get an education," Chin said.

"They can't depend on anyone else, whereas we have our family here. We can go back crying to them."

Chin feels she and her peers are lucky because most of them do not have to worry about food or education and are also pampered by their parents.

But she thinks these benefits have become something of a handicap.

"It's something we have to cope with and hopefully learn to be better people and not get complacent," she said.

Comments raise ire of netizens

Chin's controversial comments have ignited a storm of comments from netizens, reported The New Paper on Wednesday.

A majority disagreed with Chin's view of Singapore men, saying that she should not generalise.

Others took her comments with a pinch of salt, with some on Chin's side.

Netizen miloice74 said on Stomp's website: "She is entitled to have her own opinion even if it's a very bimbo one".

A HardwareZone forum user, prinnydo0d said: "Hard truth: Many girls in Singapore actually do feel this way...If you are a good man, you're probably already taken. Same with women."

There are nice guys here too: Celebrities

Local actress Jeanette Aw, 32, who has dated Singaporeans and is now in a relationship with a Caucasian:

"There are all types of people and a small percentage are (as Chin described). Others are mature, thoughtful and have a good head on their shoulders.

"It's also a generation thing. My friends and I noticed that those in their teens and 20s, who grew up comfortably, take a lot of things for granted.

"For example, when they graduate from university, they expect to land a job and be placed in a senior position. Their salary must also be in a certain bracket.

"It's very different from how we were. We learnt from the bottom up and slowly worked our way up."

Aw did not want to comment about her Caucasian boyfriend - who is known only as Marcus - and also did not want to compare him with her local ex-boyfriends or other Singapore men.

US actor-DJ Bobby Tonelli, 36, who's dating local actress Joanne Peh:

"(Peh) and I have never talked about me (an American) versus the local guys. I'm against categorising people by where they're from and their race.

"Everyone is an individual and different. Maybe the people (Chin) met are like that, though I know lots of Singapore men who are great guys and not like what she described."

Local actress Rebecca Lim, 25, who has dated only Singaporeans:

"I've met men who are like what (Chin) described and I'll just meet them once. I've also met many men who are not like that.

"I believe there are good catches out there and men who are still chivalrous.

"To be fair, not everyone in Singapore grew up in a comfortable environment. Some are pampered, but it also depends on what their parents teach them.

"I think the good men are mostly taken, just like the good women.

"One thing that (Chin) mentioned is that these local men are not stable, secure and manly enough. The same can be said of some women.

"They are probably not ready to settle down. When they are, stability will come naturally to them. "Maybe she should mix with my friends."

Local actress Cynthia Koh, 38, who has dated Singaporeans and Malaysians:

"Who is (Chin) hanging out with?

"The people I interact with are not like that. There are different types of men just like there are different types of women.

"I'm sure there are local single men who are nice and humble. For example, in showbiz, there's Nat Ho, Desmond Tan and Ian Fang."

Malaysian actress Apple Hong, 34, who's dated Singaporeans and Malaysians:

"I can't say there aren't local men like (how Chin described) but the ones I met aren't like that.

"I've met local men who are hardworking. They fight for their dreams and are determined to succeed. They don't complain when they encounter hardship.

"There are all kinds of men and one shouldn't stereotype every local man. Such men exists in every country."

Local actress Yvonne Lim, 35, who has dated Singaporeans and a Caucasian:

"I've had my fair share of bad experiences with men. But there are good men as well as the type that (Chin) described. You can't generalise them.

"In the past, I felt there were more men who are flirtatious and commitment-phobic.

"But I also met my girlfriends' husbands who are nice guys, so I think the men here can be quite nice too."

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